Live In It and Win It
by SpacePirate Khan
Summary: The SSBM gang is locked up in a mansion. The rules? When someone can't take it, they leave. Whoever remains after 24 people quit wins the mansion!! Read on..
1. Match 01: The Bathroom

DISCLAIMER : I DO NOT OWN SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE!! Got it? Good.  
  
  
Author's Note:  
Be easy on me, I'm HyPeR right now and this fic is something I scratched together in a  
very short amount of time. Whether I continue it or not all depends.  
  
  
  
SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE  
=Live in it and Win a Mansion=  
  
The Story:   
The cast of characters are all being forced to live in a mansion, locked up.  
When someone gives up, they are out of the competition; When just  
one person remains, he/she wins the mansion!! This show is broke  
up into several matches, because we know when things get tough,  
the tough start fighting....  
  
  
~*~/Match 01/~*~  
bTHE BATHROOM/b  
  
  
Pikachu and Captain Falcon, being two of the fastest characters in the game,  
woke up first, bringing their bath stuff and walking upstairs on opposite sides  
of the mansion. Then, as they both went through the hallway to the bathroom,  
they saw eachother; A small sparkle shot from both of the speed demon's eyes  
as they glared at eachother..  
"Don't even think about it, rodent..."  
"Pika... pikachu..."  
  
Captain Falcon charged as fast as he could, leaving little streaks of fire  
behind him ((not to mention scorched carpetry)). Pikachu took off like a bolt  
of lightning, shattering the vases near him. The two collided at the bathroom door;  
Captain Falco began kicking and punching the little rodent, then he stomped him  
into the ground as hard as he could before Pikachu shocked the fire out of him. CF  
jumped back, yelping in pain as the little rodent charged into the bathroom and locked  
the door. He banged on the door, screaming at the top of his lungs. "LET ME IN YOU  
$@(*%^(@^$^!@^$)@%^^)$*&()$&*%_@&_%^_&^#_@^ RODENT!!!!"  
  
He stopped yelling as he saw a very annoyed Peach (who was having, for once in  
her life, a bad hairday) walking down the hallway. She stared at him coldly. "There are  
five seperate bathrooms you know.." she sighed, walking into a different room. "Men.."  
  
Captain falcon blinked and mumbled at his humiliating defeat, then realized all the   
bathrooms were filled up by now - The fight had woken everyone up and lines had  
already been formed going to the bathrooms, and he had to pee, BAD. Then, he saw  
it just as a door closed and before anyone could react, he bolted to the door that  
had no line. "HAH!! I win!! I get to potty before you all!! LOSA'S!!" shouted the  
cocky racer. Ten minutes later, there was a flush as Bowser walked out the door,  
toilet paper stuck to his shell and a "Gore Magazine" issue tucked under his arm.  
"I'd bring some air fresheners in there if I were you!" cackled Bowser as he walked  
off. Captain falcon blinked before dropped down on his knees.   
"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"  
  
He ran down the hall and jumped out the stained glass window.  
  
~*~End Match 01~*~  
The Loser: C.Falcon  
  
  
Tune in next time to see who gets booted out like Captain Falcon, here on..  
  
SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE  
=Live in it and Win a Mansion= 


	2. Match 02: Breakfast

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SSBM!!!! GOt it? Get with it.  
  
  
  
Author's Note:  
Very sorry for the short chapters... But I'm trying to make each chapter represent  
a Match.. so... some matches will be longer, mind you, but please have patience,  
I have over nine different fanfics going at once, it's HARD to manage! So anyway..  
The votees for this match are Marth, Ness, and Falco, one of them will be  
booted out then I'll list the ones you can vote for. That's right; YOU control who  
wins and who gets kicked out for good...  
  
  
  
  
SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE  
=Live in it and Win a Mansion=  
  
  
~*~/Match 02.~*~  
---BREAKFAST---  
  
After the quick bathroom break, everyone sits in the living room whilst waiting for Peach to bake   
tea cakes for breakfast. Fox was polishing his blaster. Bowser was sharpening his claws. Falco was  
practicing some kicks. Zelda was playing with some little sparks of magic. Marth was shining his  
sword and looking at his reflection, boring Ness with tales of Fire Emblem. Roy was asleep on a couch,  
along with Yoshi, Pikachu, Jigglypuff, and Pichu - Game and Watch was also asleep, and beeped   
instead of snoring. Young Link and Link were talking to eachother - It had been very strange when the  
kid version appeared, but with Master Hand's dimension warping and what not, it isn't too odd. Mario  
and Dr. Mario were talking with DK and Luigi, as well. Mewtwo was glaring icily around the room - If  
looks could kill, they'd all be ripped apart. Samus was ignoring Gannon, who was trying to make her  
take off her armor. Suddenly, Peach came into the room and put some tea cakes on the table.  
  
  
Everyone jumped towards the table at once - Except for the princesses, as they had better   
manners. Everyone else, however, were all kicking, biting, scratching, pounding, shocking,  
and doing whatever they could to stop the others from getting more food than themselves.   
Suddenly, there was a knocking on the door; Marth, having eaten five cakes already, went to  
the door.   
  
  
"Who is it?" Marth asked to the knocking person.  
"Iiit's a landshark!" the man behind the door said in a salesman voice.  
Marth scoffed as he took out his sword. "How dare you lie to me?! I know you are  
not a Landshark! Taste my blade!" Marth said, opening the door. He stopped and gulped  
as a giant shark ate him. He screamed in indistinct japanese as he was devoured and carried  
off.   
  
Roy looked over there as the door slammed shut. "Alright, he wussed out!"  
  
  
(Meanwhile...)  
  
  
Gannon snuck around to the back door as a knock came to it. He opened it up and the Landshark  
held out a flipper. "A pleasure doing business with you." the landshark said as Gannon handed him  
a '50.   
Foul play? Much. Do the judges care? No.  
  
  
~*~End Match 02~*~  
The Loser: Prince Marth  
  
  
  
Tune in next time to see who gets eaten, blown up, or meets some other horrid death, here on..  
  
SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE  
=Live in it and Win a Mansion= 


	3. Match 03: Boredom

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SSBM!!!! Got it? Get with the program by now.  
  
  
  
Author's Note:  
Wow, and it's a success!! Hahah! Thanks for the revs and remember; If you want someone to  
be kicked off, VOTE for them in your review so I'll know ^_^ The victims.. er, votees.. for this  
match are; Jigglypuff and Ness. Tough line-up. Two have been kicked. 23 remain. Who  
will win the mansion? YOU DECIDE!!  
((And to Niel Fans everywhere, majority DOES count. Don't flame me for it, Niel Borsche. You will just  
be ridiculed.)) BE WARNeD it's 4:42 AM and I'm hyped up on chocolate.  
  
  
  
  
SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE  
=Live in it and Win a Mansion=  
  
  
  
~*~/Match 03~*~  
----BOREDOM----  
  
  
After a delicious breakfast of tea cakes (and a girly swordsman as the case may be for the Landshark  
:P), nothing really happened.. They just sat around in the various rooms. How dull. Boredom was  
really sinking in for our combatants.  
  
  
  
Let's take a look-see at what was goin on..  
  
  
  
Mr. Game&Watch, Young Link, Roy, and Pikachu were sitting around a table playing Monopoly.  
The little gold Game&Watch token landed on Boardwalk. "Pikachu!" squealed the little electrical  
rodent. holding up the Boardwalk card and pointing at the hotel. "BEEP BEEP BEEP-BEEP BEEP  
BEEBEEP BEE EE EE EE EEP!!" screamed G&W, pitching a tantrum as he was winning untill  
then. Ness, who was bored, walked up to G&W and poked him with his wooden bat. "Hey mister  
black dude, can I play?"  
"BEEP BEEHEEP BEEBOP!!" yelled G&W, whacking the annoying kid away with his black  
frying pan.   
  
Meanwhile, Gannondorf, Bowser, Link, and Mewtwo were playing poker, betting some money  
they'd gotten as bribes to come on this show. Mewtwo, of coarse, was winning, as he could  
cheat by reading minds. "Gimme all yer sixes!" Bowser said. Ness poked Gannon as everyone else  
around the poker table fell over. "Mister ugly man, can I pla-"  
"Gimme that bat, kid." Gannon said, jerking the bat away and bashing Bowser over the head with  
it. "THIS IS POKER YOU MORON NOT GO-FISH!!"  
"But I like fish!" Bowser said happily as the others got up.  
Gannon handed Ness his bat back. "Now bug off kid." he said, kicking the boy   
away.   
  
  
Peach and Zelda were playing dress-up; And to pichu-bashers' delight, the little baby rodent  
was the dollie, being dressed up in hideous and uncomfortable dresses and the such. "Pii.." muttered  
the rodent.  
Ness walked up to Zelda, a few purple bolts of magic shocking him a bit from Gannon as the  
princess turned around. "Hey miss Elf woman, can I play?"  
"Hey, aren't you that kid that hit me on the last free-for-all?"  
"Uhm.. no?"  
  
There was a red flash and an explosion as Ness went soaring across the room, landing near Fox  
and Falco, who were sparring; Falco kicked Ness up into the air, then spun-kicked him into Fox, who  
dodged. Ness flew across the room and hit Luigi in the head (who was currently talking to Mario  
and Dr.Mario about their past games). The green plumber missile-attacked the now-a-human-cannonball  
Ness across the room. He finally skidded to a halt near Roy.  
He poked Roy, who was still playing Monopoly, on the leg with the bat.  
"Can I play?"  
Roy ignored him. Ness tapped him again. "I said can I play mister flamey dude?"  
Roy ignored him still, but looked a bit ticked off. "I SAID CAN I PLA-"  
"SHUT UP ALREADY!!" Young Link said, jerking Ness' bat away and bashing him on the  
head with it. Ness' head popped off and rolled across the room towards Fox and Falco, where it  
was then kicked into Gannon's head. The sorceror jumped up. "THAT'S IT!!" he yelled, kicked Ness'  
head out the window. "WHO HIT ME WITH THAT!?"  
Everyone pointed towards Falco and Fox. The pair gulped as the sorceror dashed towards them,  
as a pair of undertakers dragged Ness' headless body out of the mansion, along with the bat.  
  
  
~*~End Match 03~*~  
The Loser: Ness  
  
  
  
Looks like the annoying kid with the bat got the boot!  
Tune in next time to see who meets a strange and unusual fate, here on..  
  
  
SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE  
=Live in it and Win a Mansion= 


	4. Match 04: Evening

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SSBM!!!! Got it? Get with it already so I can quit repeating   
m'self..  
  
  
Author's Note:  
Whoa! You people are great! This story's the most popular one I've written yet! And don't  
worry, it's far from over. Remember, YOU decide who gets the boot; Post your comments  
and the name of someone you hate on SSBM - If (s)he gets the most votes, he or she is OUT!  
AAANNNDDD untill more votes come in, the votees.. or whatever.. are:  
  
Mewtwo   
Pichu   
JigglyPuff  
Falco  
Pikachu  
  
One of these four will be booted off today, here on..  
  
SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE  
=Life in it and Win a Mansion=  
  
  
((and remember: ReViEw! Else you might not get in that decisive vote! Because if it's a tie, chances  
are I'll put the last vote, that or kill both of them....))  
((Also as a quick note, please forgive the delay of making this fanfiction. With over 10 fics going  
at the same time and writer's block building up here lately, it's been hard..))  
  
  
~*~/Match 04/~*~  
------EVENING------  
  
  
After a lunch of G&W's crispy 2-D sausages (After all, he's been an expert Chef before), and after  
a supper of grilled chicken, everyone was now doing various activities and projects - such as  
watching T/V - to pass time.   
  
  
Let's look in at what's happening, shall we?  
  
  
  
Mr. Game&Watch was having a staring contest against Roy currently - G&W could cheat, however,  
because his eyes didn't show, and he thanked his sprite-creators for it. Zelda was doing magic  
tricks for Pichu and Young Link, who kept putting in comments like "Cool!" and "Wow!" and "Pii!".  
  
Fox, Falco, Mario, and Luigi were playing Super Mario Kart 64 on an N64 and T/V they'd found  
buried under loads of junk in the basement, with Falco far in the lead and Mario losing badly.  
  
The bad dudes, Mewtwo, Bowser, and Gannondorf, were once again playing Poker. "Alright,  
whaddoya got?" Gannon said to his foes. Mewtwo smirked as he laid down a royal straight with  
an eerie cackle. Gannon smirked as he put down a Royal Straight Flush (with one Joker) on the  
table. Mewtwo growled deeply, his eyes flashing purple as Gannon said, "Read'em and weep,  
boys!"  
Bowser then looked up from his cards and smiled wickedly as he held out his hand towards  
Gannon. "Your turn!" Gannon blinked. "Pick a card!" Gannon plucked the Joker from Bowser's  
hand. Bowser shouted with glee. "YIPEE! I WON!! HAhAH!"  
Mewtwo slammed his paws against the table, telekenetic force vibrating it violently  
as cards went flying everywhere. "WE'RE PLAYING POKER, YOU FOOL, NOT OLD  
MAID!!"  
"Not it!" Gannon and Bowser said quickly as cards rained down. Mewtwo froze in  
place. "Looks like you'll be playing '52-Pickup', Pokeboy." Gannon said with a cruel  
chuckle before Mewtwo psychically choked him Darth-Vader style. Bowser jumped in  
the middle of the two and started breathing fire everywhere.  
  
  
Young Link ran over to the battle. "Ok, people, break it up!!" he yelled. No one listened.  
Mewtwo was constricting Gannon's neck with his tail and pulling Bowser's hair; Bowser  
was jabbing his spiked shell into Mewtwo's gut while sinking his teeth into Gannon's  
armor; And Gannon was biting Mewtwo's tail while jabbing his foot into Bowser's stomache  
as hard as he could. Pichu ran up to Bowser, but Gannon kicked Bowser's stomache again and  
he fell on top of the little rodent. "Good thing that cushion broke my fall!" Bowser said  
gleefully as Gannon and Mewtwo grabbed Young Link and started mauling him. Bowser's  
stomache growned. "Pi!! Pichu!!" came a muffled squeal from below bowser as the little  
Pokemon tried to run. Then..  
  
  
PFFFFFFFFT!!  
  
In a force that shook the foundation, Bowser cut one from getting kicked in the bloated gut  
one too many times. He cackled as he jumped up and back into the fray, leaving behind a   
charred spot on the ground and a small Pokemon in a coma. The Med Team ran in and  
grabbed Pichu by the neck, dragging his smelly body out of the mansion and de-oderizing  
it as best as they could.  
  
  
~*~End Match 04~*~  
The Loser: Pichu  
  
  
  
Ouch. The little rodent didn't stand a chance!  
Tune in next time to see who dies a cruel and unusual way, or possibly forfiets from  
all of this idiocy, here on..  
  
  
SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE  
=Live in it and Win a Mansion= 


	5. Match 05: A Special Guest

Disclaimer:  
I DO NOT OWN SSBM DANGIT!! STop Making Me Repeat Myself!!  
  
  
Guess what?  
Samus has a vote now!  
Samus Fans Beware!  
  
  
Author's Note:  
Dude... THANK YOU!! Your reviews made me laugh so hard I lost my writer's block!!  
Thank you all!! Remember to post who you want kicked out in the reviews, and now that  
only 20 are left, the more likable ones are gonna get the boot. I'm personally rooting for  
the best character (in my opinion), Link. Anyway, it's a landslide vote today  
on SSBM; LIIAWI (ok that abbreviation was too long, oh well), so without  
further a-doo-doo-  
  
[Link] "That was so lame."  
[Mario] "Mama-mia, what-a loser-a.."  
  
*cough* As I was saying...  
Let's continue with the cruel antics, here on..  
  
  
SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE  
=Live in it and Win a Mansion=  
  
  
  
~*~/Match 05/~*~  
A SPECIAL GUEST  
  
  
  
"Pikachu, Fox, and Falcoare sitting in the living room the next morning.  
It is now DAY 2 of this event, and--"  
  
"Who the heck are you?" Fox said to the reporter. "And how did you  
get in here?"  
"Hello, hello! Don't you recognize me you idiot? It's me, Khan, the  
guy hosting this contest?"  
"Oh, yeah."  
"Wazzup?"  
"Pi, pikachu!"  
  
"Anyway, we've arranged a SPECIAL GUEST for our stars here  
today." The trio in the living room looked with great suspense.  
"WHO!?" they all shouted - Except the pee-colored rodent,  
Pikachu, who merely said "Pii!?"  
"You'll have to wait 'till this afternoon when I make the announcement.  
I bet I could cut the tension with a butterknife right now, huh?" Khan  
said as the others graoned. "Anyway, I'll be back.. uh.. at.. sometime later.. or something,   
with the guest."  
  
  
  
((UH.. AT.. SOMETIME LATER.. OR SOMETHING,))  
  
  
The whole remaining crew was in the living room - Excluding Ness, Pichu, Marth,  
and Captain Falcon, of coarse, because they were all disqualified by that time. Roy was  
sharpening his mighty blade once more; Pikachu was licking his fur; Peach was bringing  
several cakes to share with the crew; Everyone else was eating the cakes, except for  
Falco and Fox and Mario who were having a sparring match.   
  
After the cake was gone, though, the three that ate the most (the villians) walked  
over to their usual poker table and began to deal, with those little gofly visors on. After  
a minute or two, Gannon threw down his cards. "8, 9, 10, Jack, and Queen, all of hearts."  
laughed Gannon. Mewtwo smirked. "I got a 9, 10, Jack, Queen, and King, all of diamons."  
Mewtwo said with a sinister laugh. Gannon glowered. Bowser laughed. "I beat all of  
you! I got a Black Jack! Oh, and some other useless cards." Bowser said, tossing down  
a Royal Straight Flush. The other two glared at him. "Uh... What?"  
  
  
  
The three got into a huge brawl fest, bashing eachother. "No, no, no, fighting  
isn't nice!" came an all-too-familiar voice of pure, sinister, coldhearted, diobolical  
evil.. The three froze, looking at the source of the voice, with Bowser biting  
Gannon's hair and stomping Mewtwo, Gannon with a fist into Bowser's gut  
and a boot into Mewtwo's stomache, and Mewtwo telekenetically choking both  
of them. The three screamed in terror and hid behind Zelda as their "Special  
Guest" walked in.. (I bet we all can guess who by now..)  
  
"HORROR OF UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS!!" everyone gasped at  
once as.. oh, it pains me to even speak his name it's so vile.. BARNEY..  
walked into the room!! "Hiya fellows!"  
They all backed into a cornor as the purple dinosaur got closer, stomp  
after stomp.. Young Link stared at the glass on the table in horror, ripples  
bouncing in the water it was filled with from the dinosaur's tracks..  
  
  
"Wait a minute, guys, we can take Barney! He's just a whimpy kid's show  
freak in a costume!" Link laughed.   
"YEAH!!" everone else said together.   
"I got a better idea! Let's sing!" Barney said, grabbing Link in a tight bearhug.  
"I love you, you love me! We're a happy family!"  
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" screamed everyone else as they ran to the corner  
near the stairs. Link stabbed his sword into Barney, ripping him to shreds before  
running back towards the others. The pieces of Barney's tattered self sowly  
turned to liquid, moving back together and reforming into the masked menace we  
all know and hate, good as new. The SSBM cast screamed in horror.   
  
"Let's sing a song about when I get scared, what I do!"  
  
"NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!" Bowser gasped as Barney stepped closer.  
The violenists Khan had brought in, along with the rest of the orchestra, started  
playing horror music as Barney started walking closer. "I want to be your friend!"  
  
  
"AAHH!!" They all screamed as they ran up the stairs. The group scattered and   
ran into various rooms. Barney looked around. "Aww, they're playing hide and seek!  
Ready or not, hear I come!"   
  
He ran into the bathroom. Zelda was hiding in there, soaked because she fell  
into the shower and accidently caught her sleeve on the cold water handle. The  
horror music played louder as he drew closer, with a scrub brush. He slowly opened the  
shower curtains and started jabbing the scrub brush at Zelda's back. "This is the way  
we scrub out backs, scrub are backs, scrub our backs.." Zelda screamed and ran  
away, soaked, right after that, and into another room.  
  
  
  
Barney chased after her into the room. A second later, all the characters, Barney  
included, were running through the doors in and out at random Scooby-Doo style.  
Then, they all ran out at the same time and crashed into eachother. Barney slowly sat  
up, with Bowser pinning him to the ground, out cold. Link walked up to Barney.  
  
"Now let's see who you really are, Barney!" he said, pulling off the Barney mask  
to reveal..  
  
  
Bill Clinton!  
  
  
"Why, Clinton? Why? Kirby asked, walking up to him.   
"Because, little Pokemon fellow, the women dig cute child rolemodels! Hah hah hah!"  
  
"Wait a minute. You're not Clinton!" Samus said, pulling off a Bill Clinton mask  
at the seams, revealing..  
  
Bill Cosby?  
  
"That can't-a be right-a!" Dr.Mario said, jerking off a Bill Cosby mask to  
reveal a Dan Rathers one. He jerked that one off, and jumped back in terror  
as a Zombie mask appeared. Link walked up to the Barney.. thing.. and pulled  
off the Zombie mask, then kept pulling off mask after mask, revealing Jim  
Carrey, Drew Carrey, Wario, Sonic, NiGHTS, Winnie the Pooh, and Scooby-Doo.  
He then pulled off the last mask and it was Barney again. He tried to pull  
the Barney mask off but it wouldn't budge. "I-It's real!!" Link shouted, as everyone  
yelled in panic and gathered into a crowd, the lights flashing off as thunder  
sounded in the background.  
"Let's sing a song about Parodies!"  
"No!! I beg of you!! Not that!! Anything but that!!"  
"This is a song about PArodies, Parodies, Parodies.."  
  
Everyone yelled and ran into the living room again. They hid in various areas.  
The lights flickered on and off as Barney slowly walked down, a haenous squeaking  
noise filling the air. "Let's make balloon animals!" came a horrible voice that sent such  
cold shivers down everyone's spines it could only belong to Barney. He threw  
a balloon animal down to the ground and reached down. "Now where did I put that  
balloon.. Ah, here it is." Barney said, picking something off the floor. A strange noise  
that sounded like a high-pitched "Jig--" was heard before it was muffled and an inflating noise  
filled the air. The lights flickered back on as Khan walked into the room. "Alright, Barney,  
your session's over.. The cops found out I kidnapped you to torture the SSBM crew."  
  
"Oh, goodie two-shoes!" Barney said, dropping the now-VERY-LARGELY-INFLATED-  
JIGGLYPUFF, who bounced off the couch and into the air. Khan kicked Barney out and  
went to deal with the cops as everyone stood up. "Glad that's over with." Nana and Popo said  
with a sigh as Jigglypuff began slowly floating down. Link held his sword into the air.  
"Yeah! He's gone! HAhah-"   
  
Suddenly, there was a deafeningly loud KER-POP!! that could be heard for miles  
around.. Little pieces of Jigglypuff's fur floated down as the now-deflated Pokemon  
fell to the ground. The show's medics picked up the deflated creature and took it  
off.  
  
  
~*~/End Match 05/~*~  
The Loser: Jigglypuff 


	6. Match 06: A Sticky Situation

Disclaimer: Do I really have to keep repeating this?  
Anyway, I don't want to get sued for the tiny bit o'cash  
I have, so let's continue. I DO NOT OWN SUPER  
SMASH BROS MELEE OR ANY CHARACTERS ASSOCIATED   
WITH IT, NOR DO I OWN ANY CHARACTERS   
USED IN THIS FIC - Other than me, Khan.  
  
  
Author's Note:  
I was about to count the review votes, but man, it's kind of  
obvious who's gonna be kicked off next, isn't it? Anyway, thanks  
for all of your support, people! Some of my stories haven't even  
been reviewed once, so it's like opening a Christmas present! *sniff*  
And due to popular demand, here's a list of the people  
who've been offed:  
  
NESS  
JIGGLYPUFF  
PICHU  
C.FALCON  
PRINCE MARTH  
  
  
Anyway.. Let's move on to the fic, and hope I'm not dried out   
yet. Make sure to check out some of my other fics, including  
the humor/humor fic, SKYSHIP HIGHWIND.   
  
Now then, let's see what cruel fate befalls the cast, here on..  
  
  
SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE  
=Live in it and Win a Mansion=  
  
  
  
~*~/Match 06/~*~  
--A STICKY SITUATION--  
  
  
  
"Hello, Khan here, it's now DAY 3 of the contest, early in the morning.  
And I'm here to take a poll of who the main stars want kicked off!" Khan said,  
pulling out a clipboard and a pen and walking into the mansion.  
  
  
First, Ace walked over to the Poker table, where the bad dudes and  
Link were all playing Poker. "Go fish!" said Bowser - the others have  
learned to ignore him by now.  
"So Gannon, who do you think should be voted out?" Khan asked the  
sorceror. Gannon laughed. "That's easy. Pikachu. I hate that little --"  
Khan quickly cut off his recorder to prevent others from hearing Gannon's  
obscene words before walking over to Mewtwo. "How about you-"  
"Not even a contest." Mewtwo muttered icily. "That stupid PIkachu gives  
Pokemon a bad name. He makes Pokemon look like some freakin' kid's show,  
giving people like me a bad rep.."  
"And what say you, Bowser?"  
"Uh.. Cheese!"   
Khan blinked. "Ok.. What about you, Link?"  
"I hate cheese.." Bowser muttered before Link spoke.  
"I agree with the other people here. Give that rodent the boot. I'm  
getting sick of hearing 'Pi, pika!' all the time.."  
  
"There you have it, four people hate Pikachu so far!" Khan said.  
"Let's go ask the people in the kitchen.."  
  
Khan walked into the kitchen where G&W, Peach, Zelda, and  
Samus were cooking a late breakfast. Khan first walked up to  
Peach. "Excuse me, Princess Toadstool, but who would you kick  
off this show if you could?"  
"Me? Well, I don't want to sound mean, but Pikachu is kind of  
annoying.. I think he should go."  
"And what about you, Zelda?"  
"Huh?" Zelda said, turning around with a Nintendo Power in her  
hands. "Oh, um, Pikachu, I guess."  
"M-hmm... And what say you, Game&Watch?"  
"Beep, beeheebeep, bebopadeep beep beep bebeebeep beep."  
"Uh, ok-"  
"beep beep buhbeep BEEP BEEP!! Beepebabopubeeiieeiiohbeep!"  
"Ok, ok! I'll just go in here now!" Khan said, running out of the room  
as G&W kept on beeping while his sausages burnt to a crisp.  
  
  
Khan walked upstairs to the sparring area, where Falco, Fox,  
DK, and Roy were bashing at eachother. "Who would you guys want  
kicked out?"  
"PIKACHU!!" they all said in unison.  
  
And so it continued. Mario, Luigi, Young Link, and Kirby, who  
were playing Super Smash Bros (the N64 version), all agreed on Pikachu.  
Nana&Popo, Yoshi, Dr. Mario, and everyone else all agreed as well,  
who were all watching T/V at the time.  
  
  
  
Then, Breakfast was ready. Everyone fought over rations as  
Khan tallied up the votes (not hard to do when everyone says the  
same thing). "Alright, so everyone hates Pikachu. Good, good.  
And he seems to have slept in today for once. Anyway, bye!"  
"YOU MEAN YOU AREN'T KICKING HIM OFF!?" everyone  
yelled in unison.  
Khan shook his head. "Nope, just takin' a pole." Khan quickly ran out  
before he got his butt killed. The group huddled together then.  
"Hey everyone, let's pull a prank on that pest we all hate." Link suggested.  
Roy seconded the motion, as did all the baddies. "Good, good.. Here's what we do.."  
  
  
  
  
Pikachu snored again in his little room. The door slowly creaked open. Roy,  
Link, Zelda, and Mewtwo slowly moved in. Pikachu's ear twitched and they  
froze for a second, then continued when they heard Pikachu turn over and  
snore some more. ((insert MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE theme))  
  
G&W slowly came in after them. "NOW!!" Roy shouted. Pikachu  
jumped up with a "PII!!" as Mewtwo started rapidily using Confusion  
on Pikachu, tossing him into the air so much he couldn't react to  
defend himself. Everyone else stood back as Bowser, Mario, and  
Luigi came in. Game&Watch put a pot of tar on the floor and Bowser,  
Mario, and Luigi started assaulting the pot with fire of various kinds  
untill it was steaming hot tar. Then Mewtwo psychically flung  
Pikachu into the tar pot, as Link quickly used his hookshot to  
form a makeshift cage above the tar jar. Bowser picked up the jar  
and ran down the stairs with the others. He set the jar with the  
screaming pokemon down as Young Link came up and Gannon  
and Mewtwo held up pillows - about 20 of them, all feather -  
above the jar. Link quickly pulled up his hookshot as  
Bowser began slashing the pillows apart, along with Young Link  
and Link's swords, and Roy's swords. Pikachu jumped out of the jar,  
covered in tar as Mewtwo began using Confusion to knock Pikachu around  
amidst the feathers untill he looked like a chicken! Popo tossed a red rubber  
glove to Nana, who fastened it tightly on Pikachu's head as Samus tied  
a fake beak on Pikachu's nose. Then DK tossed the yellow pest onto  
a red wagon that Peach brought in, and Mewtwo psychically picked  
the lock on the mansion door and opened it. Khan walked in with a  
camera.  
  
  
"Alright, folks, I'm here, what have you got to show us all  
on LIVE NATIONAL TELEVISION?" Khan asked, before he jumped   
out of the way, filming the screaming tarred and feathered Pokemon,  
Pikachu, flying down the hill and straight into a town full of people!  
"THIS I GOTTA GET ON FILM!!" Khan shouted, chasing after  
Pikachu. Everyone else clapped their hands together and congradulated  
eachother for a job well done as they went back into the mansion and  
locked themselves back in.  
  
  
~*~/End Match 06/~*~  
~*~/The Loser: Pikachu/~*~  
  
  
Well, there you have it, folks! Post what you think about it and who you  
want to be kicked off next, and we'll see what cruel pranks take place  
next time on..  
  
  
SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE  
Live in it and Win a Mansion! 


	7. Match 07: Guest Stars Again?

Disclaimer: I felt like being different so I'll say it backwards  
this time.  
  
.ouy knaHT aka ,nahK naht rehto ,cif siht in desu esle  
gnihtyna ro EELEM SORB HSAMS REPUS nwo ton od I  
Oh and to make it clear, I DO NOT OWN SMASH BROS MELEE  
OR ANY OF THE GUEST STARS IN THIS FIC!! Ever heard of  
freedom of speech? That's all this is; A simple little story. I'm  
making no profits or anything.  
  
  
  
Author's Note:  
Sorry for the delay on updates..  
Ok, here's the deal; My little sister, Allison? SHE BROKE  
MY FREAKIN' LAPTOP!! That's where all of my fanfictions  
are stored and updated before being transferred to this  
site!! Argh! As soon as the repair dude arrives however  
the laptop will be fine and things'll be back on track.  
And because one person wanted it, I'll post the Kicked-Off  
list of folks that've lost at the end of each episode. See  
what the power of speech can do ya for?  
  
  
Anyway, on with the cruel antics and special idiotic stars,  
here on..  
  
  
  
  
SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE  
=Live in it and Win a Mansion=  
  
  
  
  
~*~/Match 07/~*~  
--GUEST STARS--  
  
  
  
"Day Four is now here." Khan said. "It is now 12:00 Noon, and  
I'm here to give an announcement!"  
Everyone was gathered in the living room, with Bowser nodding  
off. "Thanks to a few contracting rules (and a lot of stolen cash bribery)  
I was able to get us some special GUEST STARS!!"  
"YAY!! ALRIGHT!!!" cheered everyone.  
"BUT of coarse, I made sure to pick THE WORST AND MOST  
DISPICKABLE stars on TV today!!"  
Everyone else groaned miserably.  
"And I gave each one a key to the mansion and  
my cell phone number. So no funny business."  
The evil dudes (plus Link, Samus, and Roy) all groaned more  
miserably at that.  
  
"Have fun!" Khan said in a dispickably sinister voice as  
he left the mansion.  
  
  
  
--------------  
[3:oo pm]  
  
Bowser snorted. Suddenly the doorbell rang.  
No one else dared answer so he wearily tromped  
up to the door, the very floor of the mansion shaking  
under his massive... ness.  
  
He opened the door and the cast of Star Wars  
came in - All as young as they once were! Harrison  
Ford included!  
  
After that, however, evil movie critics walked in with  
picket signs that read "Gurge Lukas kan't wight  
anything he's a doo-doo head" and talking in  
gibberish because they're just that much of imbecilles.  
  
They all spun around Bowser, chanting "Fatuus Simiulus!"  
to him over and over and over and over and over again  
and again and again and again and-  
  
-------------  
  
  
"SAVE ME FROM THE EVIL MOVIE CRITICS!!" Bowser  
screamed, running into Peach and cowering in front of her. She  
blinked as he sobbed. "It was horrible!! Oh, so horrible!!"  
  
  
  
Everyone stared before several people began snickering.  
"HEY!!" Bowser shouted. "I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I HAD  
A SCARY DREAM IN WHICH CRITICS CALLED ME FATUUS  
SIMIULUS OVER AND OVER AND WERE--"  
Suddenly the doorbell rang and Bowser hid behind Peach,  
shivering. "Koopas." Peach sighed, rolling her eyes. "Can't live  
with'em, can't live without'em - Wait, I take that back, I could  
live without koopas."  
  
"Hey! I resent that!" Bowser complained, but he quickly  
cowered behind Peach once more as the door opened and a  
bunch of cameramen came in and filmed the door. THen,  
a blonde woman nearly as tubby as Bowser staggared into the  
mansion and fell on her face. It took all ten cameramen to  
get her back on her feet. "That was fun, let's do it again." said  
the blonde in a drugged-out, air-headed sounding voice as  
she purposely fell on her face, dragging five of the cameramen  
down to the floor with her.  
  
  
"Aaahh! It's Anna Niccole Smith!!" gasped Bowser. "It's  
worse than I could have imagined!!"  
  
  
Then her dog came in and peed on her hand while she  
was lying there. She sat up (after being pulled up by the ten  
cameramen again) and giggled idiotically, saying, "Did you see  
that? It peed on my hand. Why does that $@% pee on things?"  
"Um, because it's a do-" Link was about to say before  
Anna cut him off. She walked up to the group. "Hiii.." she said  
in a drugg-addict's voice. "My dog peed on my hand.. so where's  
the fridge?"  
  
  
Bowser pointed towards the kitchen. Anna nodded and walked  
towards there before leaning against a wall, whining that she was  
tired.  
  
  
  
"Get that mutt out of here!!" Gannon roared, just now seeing the  
pee-spot on the carpet. "When I win this mansion I don't want it t'smell  
like dog - "  
  
"Where's the pay-per-view? I want popcorn.. Where's the bathroom?  
I gotta pee.." whined Anna, although many people ignored her.  
  
  
  
Then, Micheal Jackson walked in. Gannon gasped. "HE'S UGLIER THAN  
ME!!" he shouted, running. "Heck, HE'S UGLIER THAN DONKEY KONG!!"  
  
  
Micheal Jackson then grabbed Young Link and ran up the stairs, grabbing  
him by the neck and holding him over the edge of the railing. The kid flailed  
around, helplessly. Then he 'accidently' dropped Young Link on top of Link and  
walked down stairs. Everyone looked mean at him. "What?"  
"THAT'S WHAT!!" Zelda shouted, pointing at a video screen showing him  
strangling Kid Link.  
"You believe THAT over MY word? Micheal Jackson gasped.  
"We SAW you with our own eyes!!"  
  
"I was just hugging the little kid and he fell. I wouldn ever hurt the little  
kids. I love my kids." Micheal said, before running into Young Link and  
strangling him again. Bowser body-slammed the self-proclaimed "King of Pop",  
crushing him up against the ground as Anna walked back in, her face stuffed  
full of twinkies and bags upon bags of various foods under her arms, half of  
which had been emptied. "The dog peed in the fridge." said Anna. "Isn't that  
funny? I loved my husband. That reminds me of him, you know."  
  
  
"ARGH!! THAT STUPID MUTT!!" Gannon shouted, dashing into the kitchen  
and throwing the dog out the window, before remembering the cops watched their  
every movement and dashing outside.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Mario and Dr. Mario walked around, cleaning up dog pee. Anna was still eating.  
The time is now 3:15 PM.. "OPEN UP!! IT'S GREEN PEACE MAN!!" shouted a  
voice from outside as the busted the door off it's hinges. They grabbed Donkey  
Kong, tied him up, beat him, and dragged him out. peach blinked. "Aren't they  
suppoed to be to PROTECT animals?" Kirby asked, confused.   
  
"Hey guys, saw that green peace mob, killed one of'em for breakin  
my door, what's up?" Khan asked, walking in while putting a now-bloody  
sword away. He sniffed. "And why does it smell so bad in here?"  
"I farted." Anna said, followed by idiotic laughter. Everyone blinked. "What  
an idiot.." Mewtwo muttered.  
"Beep beebeep.." muttered Game&Watch.  
"Well, we have to go now.. CAMERAMAN TAKE HER OUT  
OF HERE ALREADY!!" Khan said. The cameramen dragged Anna out,  
who kept whining "But I want more free food!"  
"I'll be fixing the door tomorrow, guys, but WE HAVE SECURITY  
EVERYWHERE so if you even TRY to escape for FIVE MINUTES you  
will be disqualified, zapped by a red laserbeam, and charged with 20,000 volts  
of electricity!!!"  
With that, Khan left.  
  
  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
  
  
The back door knocked. Gannon snuck back there and opened the  
door. One of the Green Peace activists held out a hand. "Thanks for  
beatin the crap out of DK.. less competition and all." Gannon said,  
giving the Green Peace guy five bucks.  
"Hey, anything for fifty bucks, man!" said the burned out hippie.  
"Just don't tell anyone we beat up an animal or they'll know this  
whole green peace thing is a cover-up for a huge crime orginization.."  
"Your secret's safe with me." Gannon said, slamming the door.  
  
  
  
~*~/End Match 07/~*~  
~*~/The Loser: DK/~*~  
  
  
Final Notes:  
  
Ok, this is where I post all my finishing notes to a Match. I really  
hope this episode wasn't THAT bad.. the next one should be better,  
hopefully. Anyway, I gotta recount the votes again after this  
match to see who's next, cuz it's getting pretty close now.  
  
[THE OUT LIST]  
These are the fighters who have  
already been kicked out:  
  
NESS  
JIGGLYPUFF  
PICHU  
C.FALCON  
PRINCE MARTH  
PIKACHU  
DONKEY KONG  
  
  
[CONTEST!!]  
Ok, so.. Let's have the FIRST EVER contest!  
Anyone that answers the following question will  
be awarded by a special appearance on the 'fic  
sometime, somewhere. To enter, E-Mail me (to keep  
others from sharing answers) with what name you'd  
like to be mentioned as on the 'fic, and your answer  
to the question. And remember, I may be nice and  
let all entrants on, but you stand a MUCH better  
chance of being part of the 'fic if you get it right.  
So here's the question:  
  
"What does Fatuus Simiulus mean?"  
  
  
Also, if you just tell me what language Fatuus  
Simiulus is in, you'll get your name mentioned  
atleast once in this fic (That's right, contest  
winners may make several appearances)  
  
Hey, this is a very interactive 'fic, and I beleive  
in going all-out.  
  
Anyway, let's keep going.   
  
  
Don't forget to POST YOUR VOTE when you  
review, and stay tuned! We'll see you  
next time as more idiotic antics and obnoxious  
parodies take place, here on..  
  
  
  
SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE  
Live in it and Win a Mansion!! 


	8. Match 08: Sweet Revenge

DISCLAIMER: Can you guess what I'm about to say?  
That's right kiddies.  
I DO NOT OWN SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE OR  
ANYTHING ASSOCIATED WITH IT OR ANYTHING  
OR AnyONE MOCKED AND PARODIED IN THIS FIC!!  
  
  
  
Author's Note:  
  
As a real quick note, I'd like to thank Simdork,  
he's read several of my fanfictions ^_^ (and I will  
get around to reading his, I promise!)  
  
I'm back in business! And the crew's been laughing at  
me since the last review.. I'm wondering why.. Oh well,  
maybe I'll find out.. **hears snickering** Oh shaddup!  
  
Anyway, if you want changes to the fic such as additions  
like the "Offed List" please say so when you review - I try  
to make this fic as interactive as possible ^_^  
  
So let's see what cruel fate befalls me today on.. Wait a sec,  
who wrote this script!? LINK!? YOU SON--  
**the scene cuts off**  
  
  
SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE  
=Live in it and Win a Mansion=  
  
  
~*~/Match 08/~*~  
--Sweet Revenge!--  
  
(WARNING! WARNING!)  
(This match has SERIOUS)  
(FIGHTING in it and a TON)  
(of VIOLANT STUFF.. maybe.)  
(At the very least it has a huge)  
(battle. SO BE HAPPY BECAUSE  
TODAY I PRACTICE MY  
SPECIALITY!)  
  
  
  
  
  
"Day Five. Boy, does time fly! I'm here again to check up on--"  
Khan is interupted by an uproar of laughter the instant he walks  
into the living room; The whole remaining crew is looking at his  
list of votes..  
"Give those back!!"  
"Guess what Khan!?" said Gannon. "YOU LOSE!!"  
"Wha-"  
"Like you've said before to us, 'Don't get upset if  
you lose; It's what the people want that counts'!" cackled Link.  
"I never-"  
"Look at this." Mewtwo said gruffly as the list was flung into Khan's  
face, the word "KHAN" circled and his votes.  
"WHAT!? YOU CAN'T VOTE ME OFF, I"M THE HOST!!" shouted  
Khan angrily, an aura of power surruonding him as horrible shrieking  
and roaring filled the air. Unfortunately, however, while he wasn't looking,  
Mewtwo hurled him out the door and stole his keys, locking the door and  
sliding a Legal Document through it which stated, basically, that Khan was  
fired.  
  
  
"Oh, I'll get you for this." Khan muttered icily as he left. "Up untill  
now all my pranks have been subtle.. you'll regret EVER voting me off,  
mr. annonnymous voter... And your little dog, too!" Khan then pulled  
out a Universal-Ranged Phone and dialed in the words "I Kill Stuff."  
"Hello? It's me, Khan. No, not Ghengis Kahn.... no, I'm NOT  
Shao Kahn! I'm Khan! You know, the space pirate?! Yeah, me. Anyway,  
you remember when I helped you get those psychic powers?.. Ok that  
wasn't me, but I did give you unlimited funding, so you owe me one.  
How would you like to be the ruler of a show..? You can be as mean as you  
want, too.. Good, good! I'm in Dimension 48-B, in the Milky Way galaxy, on  
Planet Earth, in the big mansion in Nowheresville. Yes, the Super Smash Brothers  
realm. That's right. And please, hurry, or they might ruin the place..."  
  
  
  
  
"LET'S-A PARTY!!" shouted Mario as Bowser dragged in two huge  
beer kegs. Peach picked up a phone. "Hello? Blissey's Pizza? Yeah, I need  
two of every topping of large pizza you've got - and charge it all to Khan's  
credit card!" She gave off the numbers and stuff and hung up. (A note to  
contest winners; if your name doesn't appear in this fic it will in a later  
fic. I will reveal the answer to Fatuus Simiulus on the final episode.)  
  
  
  
  
THE NEXT DAY.....  
  
  
Everyone was lying around; half of the men were hung over, including  
one woman (Samus). The living room, and for that matter most of the mansion,  
was a wreck; Pizza slices dripping off the walls, beer lying around the floor,  
a few puddles of hang-over vomit, and most of the furniture was turned over  
or broken; Confetti and tons of other party items were lying around.  
  
  
Tire wheels screeched outside as a black Dodge Viper drove  
into the driveway of the mansion. A man in a long black trenchcoat  
slowly walked towards the mansion. He knocked on the door and waited  
for a few minutes. No reply. He rang the doorbell. After five more minutes  
he knocked once again.  
  
  
"Get the door." Bowser groaned.  
"You get it." Mewtwo said icily.  
"No, you get it."  
"FORCE!!" roared a voice from outside the door.   
  
  
Suddenly, in a flash of blindingly brilliant red light, the door  
was blasted open by a magic spell, slamming into Bowser's thick  
skull and breaking to splinters. "You'll be replacing that door with  
the luxury of heating." muttered the cloaked man icily as he  
walked into the room slowly, his face covered in a mask of disgust as  
he stared around. "GET UP YOU SLOBS!" he yelled. Some people  
groaned; others moaned in agony; Samus took off her helmet and  
vomited; Fox was bringing some medicine to help her; and cries of  
SHUT UP! sounded, namely from Young Link.  
  
  
  
"I SAID GET UP!!" bellowed the man as the entire mansion shook  
from his sheer, awesom power. No one budged. "Put a sock in it!" Young  
Link said, running up to him. "Enough cheap effects, you whimp, I'm  
gonna cut you to shreds!"  
"You will pay dearly for your insolense, you brat." said the man  
coldly. "My name is Dimitri Aosis, a name you will remember well.  
And if you value your life, none of you will ever do what he just  
did. Now WAKE UP!! I am to make an example of this puny whelp!"  
  
  
  
  
Everyone appeared in a strange void of blackness and eerie  
purple light, much like the void where you fight the Fighting Wire  
Frames.  
The group was in a huge floating audience stand, overlooking  
a huge stone floating arena from a safe distance. On one side of  
the arena stood Young Link, who was now wearing, oddly, white.  
On the other side of the arena stood Dimitri Aosis, the new  
host of the show.  
  
Eerie organ and chanting sounded from out of nowhere in  
a dark and gothic battle theme as thunder crashed around them from  
the eternal clouds of darkness above.   
  
"Jeeze! There goes the FX budget!" exclaimed Fox, looking around  
in awe.  
  
  
  
  
Dimitri slowly pulled out a huge kitana blade (sorry if I mispelled)  
with a silver snake at the botton of the handle. "En Guarde!" shouted  
Dimitri, his cold voice booming across the empty void.  
  
"You know I think I liked Khan better." muttered Samus, who  
had a major headache. "He was so much less noisy.."  
  
  
Young Link shouted out a battle cry as he charged at Dimitri;  
A few of the Smashers cheered. The Kid Link lashed out at Dimitri,  
stabbing at the man rapidly. Dimitri cackled, nimbly dodging each  
blow, moving like an animal as he crouched and rolled out of the way,  
pulling out a long black whip and lashing out at Kid Link's ankle,  
wrapping it around his ankle and jerking back, tripping Young Link.  
  
  
"Ouch, that's gotta hurt." Zelda said, watching with interest.  
  
  
Before the child could even twitch, Dimitri dashed up to  
him and kicked him hard in the gut. He scowled coldly, old  
memories raging up fury inside of him, and before the child link  
could even take another breath Dimitri slammed into him with the  
handle of his sword, knocking him to the ground again before kicking  
him into the air and crescent-kicking the child, then jumping onto  
him like a cat while he flew into the air and pile-driving the boy into  
the rock arena hard, cracking the area around where the kid's body  
landed. He grabbed Young Link up by the hair and jerked him to his  
feet, the boy crying out in pain as Dimitri scowled coldly and punched him  
hard into the nose, breaking it before slamming his boot into  
the boy's gut.  
  
  
"Mama-Mia!" shouted Mario!  
"What a show!" Gannon chuckled mercilessly!  
"That poor boy!" Peach said.  
  
  
  
Dimitri then slammed his knee into Link's alread broken  
nose, knocking the child back a few feet before he rose his  
sword into the air. Thunderbolts crashed into the sword as  
Young Link staggared back into stance, blood trickling out of  
his nose and from various other scrapes and wounds.  
  
Dimitri's eyes flashed a radiant blue glow of power, his  
voice distorting into an even more malicious one.  
"Tempus Fortuna Morior!" said Dimitri icily in an eerie  
voice as his feet lifted inches off the ground, hovering by  
magic force as he shot towards Link and kicked him high into the air,  
jumping up to meet him as spirits shot from the arena, tearing  
through Young Link's body as Dimitri began thrashing him,  
the child's body violently vibrating from electical shock from  
the thunder surging through the new cruel host's blade  
and the howling spirits' screams filling the air as they tore through  
Link's body, weakening him dramatically before Dimitri finally  
absorbed the spirits into his sword, stabbing Young Link in the  
gut as a gigantic wave of brilliant light flashed through the air,  
the entire void shaking with raw power.   
  
In the split-second that the light disappeared, however,  
they were all back in the mansion. Link was in a stretcher,  
horribly injured and bleeding as he was carried out of   
the mansion. Everyone gasped as the boy was taken out  
of the mansion and all eyes turned to stare at  
Dimitri.  
  
"You can expect the heating to be cut to pay for both  
the effects budget and for all the damages done to this  
mansion." Dimitri said coldly. "NOW START CLEANING  
OR YOU'RE NEXT!!"  
  
  
Needless to say, everyone jumped up and began cleaning  
despide the headaches and some (namely Bowser) having to  
numerously clean their own vomit...  
  
  
~*~End Match 02~*~  
The Loser: Young Link  
  
  
  
A/N (Author Note)  
"Jeeze, you people kicked ME off the show!  
What nerve!! I hope and pray some of you will  
vote Dimitri off.. Ack! Hey! What're you--"  
  
  
D/N (Dimitri's Note)  
"I'm officially relieving you of your duties.  
And I would like to thank the annonnymous author  
who voted Khan off and made misery for  
everyone on this show; It is thanks to your effort  
that I am here now, Dimitri Aosis."  
  
A/N:  
"YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I'LL SUE YOUR--"  
  
D/N:  
"I'll see you next time as I shape these pathetic slobs into  
shape here on..  
  
  
  
SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE  
Live in it and Win a Mansion!! 


	9. Match 09: Winter Wonderland?

DISCLAIMER:  
Dude. You know what?  
I do not own Super Smash Bros Melee  
or anything or anyone else used in this fic.  
The only two characters I own are ME, Khan,  
and Dimitri Aosis.   
  
  
  
  
A/N:  
"I finally worked out a deal with Dimitri, so  
that, for now atleast, I can write Author Notes  
in here. I see your reactions to me being kicked  
off are mixed.. One of you seems to prefer Dimitri  
(which may change), while others hate him already.  
Oh well. Maybe the Smashers will overthrow him  
now that he has a vote. oh yes, sorry for not putting  
the "Offed List" on last time, I kinda forgot. D'oh!  
  
If I ever make a revised edition of that episode (with  
the entire Party scene of what took place) I'll add that.  
But such a thing is unlikely.  
  
By the way, the contest is ALWAYS GOING ON,  
even if your name doesn't appear today it will  
later if you answered fairly correctly, or if I just  
feel nice.  
  
Oh yeah, and it seems I got some more hate-mail  
from some gutter-minded weirdo.. While I usually  
don't mock those that review, this is a special  
occasion..  
  
So here we go with another homocidal maniac-hosted  
episode of..  
  
  
  
  
SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE  
=Live in it and Win a Mansion=  
  
  
~*~/Match 09/~*~  
-Winter Wonderland-  
  
DAY 12  
  
The remaining crew sat in the living room, all  
shivering, all under several covers and blankets.  
Dimitri cut the heating, and now, after a week of  
nothing bad happening, a horrid cold front has moved  
in and the gang is freakin' cold!!  
  
  
  
The newly replaced door opened up as Dimitri  
came in, along with four eerie cloaked figures.  
He pulled up a list. "Alright, it's check-up time.  
You've had plenty of time to clean this mess up."  
Dimitri said coldly. "Wraiths, search the place."  
  
The faceless creatures slowly slithered around the mansion.  
Dimitri put on a white rubber glove and ran his fingers  
across the top of a cabinet, scowling at the small particles of  
hard-to-see dust. "I couldn't expect more from brainless fighters,  
I suppose." muttered Dimitri icily, staring down at his list. "So,  
who's been, as you say, 'offed,' so far?.. Jigglypuff, Pichu, Pikachu..  
Good, good, I hate obnoxiously cute characters.. Ness.. yes, yes..  
Captain Falcon.. finally.. Prince Marth.. Donkey Kong.. Young Link..  
Is that all!?"  
  
"Oh, and Khan." Link added.  
"And you." Gannon said. "You got a vote! And by law  
of what the people say--" Gannon shut up as Dimitri  
glared viciously at Gannon - if looks could kill everyone would  
drop dead.  
  
"If I'm not mistaken, you hideous.. thing, Khan was the  
one who agreed to that law. Not me. And if anyone disagrees,"  
Dimitri said, glaring at everyone, "you will have to deal with  
me and my creatures personally."   
  
The faceless wraiths slithered eerily back into the room  
as if they were hovering above the ground, walking on air,  
and moving much like snakes. One hissed at Gannon as  
it passed, before meeting the other three behind Dimitri.  
  
"Now then. Your heating, as you no doubt noticed,  
is still going to stay cut." Groaning filled the room.  
"SHUT UP!!" Dimitri yelled. "This is a contest of  
survival, and thus, survival it shall be!" He held his  
hand up as black clouds filled the cieling far up above,  
covering every cieling in the mansion. Snow began raining  
down from it, turning the mansion into a wintery world,  
filling it with snow. And don't you say, "Hey, wow, that's  
so nice of him!" Think about it a second; It's FREEZING  
ENOUGH AS IT IS, plus the heating's down, and it's not just  
a pleasant snow, it's a freakin' blizzard. Oh yeah.   
Dimitri's heartless.  
  
  
  
"Now then. The storm will cease when all  
but one of you has left the premisis. Farewell."  
Dimitri slammed the door shut as the blizzard picked up,  
as boomerangs, fireballs, and other various projectiles  
crashed up against the door, along with quite a few  
swears.  
  
  
  
DAY 12  
14:00  
  
  
Yoshi huddled up against as many covers as he could,  
shivering, his green nose now reddened from the frost.  
There was over a foot of snow covering the carpetry of  
the mansion now. The baddies were huddled up behind a turned-over  
poker table, Mewtwo keeping heat around them with psycic  
power as they played out yet another game of Poker.  
  
"Hrph.. a three.. a five... a seven... a King... and a ten...  
bah." Gannon muttered coldly, carelessly tossing five  
cards to the floor; In case you're wondering, Mewtwo also  
had a shield keeping snow from falling in on them.   
"Hah, royal straight!" cackled Mewtwo as he flashed  
his cards. Gannon shook with rage as Mewtwo started  
shoving the chips towards himself, dropping the new  
deck of cards which included a Jack that had Blissey  
on it, a Queen that had Ice-Dragoness on it, a King  
that had simdork the author on it, and an Ace  
with Christopher, the Sorceror of Chaos,  
and Negalith, the Sorceror of Darkness. (Tell me  
what fic those two came off of and you'll get an  
honorable mention like these other great  
people did!)  
  
  
"Hah hah! You both lose! I got Boardwalk!"  
Bowser said merrily. "See? Look!" He held out   
the property card for Boardwalk.   
"Should we tell him?" Mewtwo whispered.  
"No, let's just kick his--"  
  
  
  
Ok, well. Let's go to another scene.  
  
  
  
Peach, Zelda, and most of the other Smashers  
were taken shelter amost other various furnitures  
that assembled a tent, all swordsmen left included.  
"We've gotta overthrow that moron!!" Roy said,  
using fire skills (and his sword) to heat up the makeshift  
tent of furniture and covers, which had an igloo build around  
it courtesy of mewtwo, who was given a special Reviewers  
deck of playing cards with names and hacked pictures of  
almost all the signed reviewers of this fic on the cards. Scary  
what Khan can do for promotional gifts, eh?  
  
  
"Yeah, he's ten times worse than Khan was!" Link  
muttered, sharpening his sword. "I wish I could get  
my hands on that annonnymous author who kicked him  
off.."  
"Forget about that author." Samus said, keeping  
her armor on for warmth, "we need to concentrate on  
getting rid of Dimitri."  
"Yeah, I agree with Samus." Fox said, scooting  
closer to the fire. "Without a plan of attack, we're  
hopeless."  
"What's to plan?" said Falco, annoyed. "We  
gang up on him, we kick his butt!"  
"Don't-a you remember-a what he-a did to-a  
Young-a Link-a?" Mario said (forgive the cruddy  
accent description), using his own fire to  
warm himself.  
"Yeah!" said Luigi, "We'll-a get our butts-a kicked!"  
"Even though it isn't much of a plan, Falco  
is probably right." Zelda said. "If we gang up on  
Dimitri, he won't stand a chance."  
"Hey fellows, look at this! Some  
moronic ditz named The Great Read Dragon  
doesn't know anything about fanfiction terms!" Kirby  
exlaimed, holding up the review list. "What, he thought  
'Pairing' meant THAT!? What a gutter-minded idiot!!"  
  
Everyone else looked at him for a minute before  
busting out laughing. "I can't believe how utterly  
stupid these people can be!" Link laughed.  
"Yeah!" Samus said, "The creep acts like  
it's better than all of us and yet it doesn't know  
squat about fanfiction terms! We GOTTA  
show Khan that message when he gets back!"  
  
  
Dr. Mario then walked in. "I am-a back!" Dr.Mario  
said in a gruffer voice than usual. Everyone blinked.  
"Not you, we wanted Khan." Nana and Popo said.  
Dr.Mario laughed and pulled a zipper down from his   
forehead, pulling off a Dr.Mario costume, revealing   
himself to be Khan in disguise!  
  
"WHOA!!" shouted everyone in unison. "But  
where's the real Dr. Mario?"  
  
  
  
  
IN THE BATHROOM  
  
  
  
Dr. Mario stood in the shower, with jagged shards  
of frozen shower water stuck into him, and blood draining  
through the tub like some old horror flick.  
  
  
BACK TO THE LIVING ROOM  
  
  
  
"Alright, everyone," Khan said, "By law of what the people  
want, it's time to overthrow Dimitri..."  
  
  
  
~*~/End Match 09/~*~  
~*~/The Loser: Dr. Mario/~*~  
  
  
  
  
(A/N)  
"Well, folks, you have spoken, and the suspense-filled  
wait starts now! Be prepared for a huge battle and  
Dimitri's downfall next episode!"  
  
(D/N)  
"Hah! Fat chance!"  
  
  
(A/N)  
"Oh shut up Dimitri. Anyway, it's time to post  
the Out List;  
  
CAPTAIN FALCON  
PRINCE MARTH  
NESS  
PICHU  
JIGGLYPUFF  
PIKACHU  
DONKEY KONG  
YOUNG LINK  
DR. MARIO  
  
  
  
MORE CONTESTY THINGS!  
  
I have made a very bad typo on SSBM, Match 08.  
If you can tell me what my huge mistake was,  
you'll get an honorable mention! Oh, and for those that  
are wondering about the "The Great Red Dragon"  
issue, well, I reviewed one of his/her/it's fanfics. I,  
personally, thought it were excellent. So I posted  
a good review, saying I was happy that they finally made  
a Lilo-Stitch pairing. Well, then the next day that  
bafoon comes up and reviews this fic for the childish  
and immature purpose of yelling at me because that  
gutter-minded moron didn't know anything about Fanfiction  
terms and thought Pairing meant, well, something else.  
I don't want this 'fics rating shot up so read the reviews  
if you will to laugh at The Great Red Dragon's idiocy.  
In case you're wondering, no, I won't do this  
to anyone else. I was just rather mad at that, erm,  
person. The rest of you will get good mentions at one  
point or other if you attend these contest thingies or  
if I just kinda know you better than the rest.  
  
  
  
  
So, now that I got that out of my system, we can  
continue.   
  
  
What will happen with the issue of Dimitri Aosis!?  
Will they win or be enslaved in a frozen tundra  
for all eternity!?  
Find out next time, on..  
  
  
SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE  
Live in it and Win a Mansion!! 


	10. Match 10: Clash of Hosts

DISCLAIMER:  
**puts a phonograph in front of you all**  
**a prerecorded message plays**  
"I do not own Super Smash Bros melee or anything  
associated with it."  
**the record skips**  
"Thank you -zrrt- Thank you -zrrt- Thank you -zrrt- Thank you -zrrt"  
**Khan shoots the phonograph**  
"Thaannnkk youuuuuuu.." **the voice fades away slowly**  
  
  
  
  
  
D/N:  
For his obvious treachery, Khan has been, how you say,  
relieved of all duties involving the hosting of this little  
contest, including notes. And while your votes are getting  
down to some of the more powerful characters, I will make  
sure to maul each and every one of them. Now then,  
on with the pathetic slaughter that shall take place today  
on..  
  
(WARNING: This episode is rather long for this  
fic's kind. And guess what? It's all battle, pretty  
much! Get ready for one of the hugest clashes  
in this fic's history, on..)  
  
  
SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE  
=Live in it and Win a Mansion=  
  
  
  
  
~*~/Match 10/~*~  
---Clash of Hosts---  
  
  
  
The remaining Smashers were all huddled up inside  
the tent now - even the baddies. "Alright, everyone," Khan  
said, looking at all of them with an extensive battle plan being  
projected into midair via a hologrpahic projector thingy in the shape  
of a small cube. "Dimitri will be arriving come dawn tomorrow.  
This blizzard will be rougher than ever by then, I'm betting, which  
will give us the stealth advantage, as we can hide amongst the snow  
much easier. Nana and Popo, you two are best handling ice, so you  
can orginize how the heck we'll pull this off without freezing to death.  
Now then, the first attacks should be done by the swiftest of fighters,  
and since Captain Falcon is gone we'll have to rely on Fox and Falco.  
Don't bother with laser guns too much, he's got ninja-like skills and can  
deflect almost every shot. Once he realizes what's going on, Link and  
Roy will jump in with their swords and engage in close-range combat.  
Why, oh why did the other swordsmen have to be voted off.."  
  
"Hey, your fault for the whole 'what the people say counts' issue."  
Kirby said, eating a cake.  
"Feh." Khan said simply, continuing. "While they fight close-range,  
we need to have constant replacements. All the other fighters, BE  
READY AT ALL TIMES!! When the fighters are injured, I'm counting  
on Peach, Game&Watch, and Zelda to cure and, if they're hungry, feed,  
the fighter back to their feet. I'll hop in as one of the replacements if  
things get rough."  
"YOU can fight!?" Link said with a laugh.  
"Psh, duh! You thought those horrid screamings were just  
special effects?" Everyone blinked. "Of coarse they weren't! Now  
then, we've got the basic battle plan set, just make sure not to kill  
eachother and try to hide amongst the snow so he won't know  
how many of us are going to overthrow him."  
  
  
  
  
DAY THIRTEEN  
Time: Dawn  
  
  
  
A black corvette pulled into the driveway of the mansion, screeching  
to a halt. Dimitri walked out in his usual black attire. His four Wraiths drove up  
behind him in a rather large camper. He snapped his fingers as one of the  
wraiths opened the back door; A vicious spider-like man walked out of the  
back along with two horrible-looking wolf-like creatures and four more Wraiths.  
The twelve of them walked up to the door and Dimitri knocked. He waited  
impatiently before kicking the door down. "You ignorant fools!" he shouted,  
walking into the blizzard. Everything in the mansion was covered in snow.  
Dimitri calmed the storm just enough for him to be able to see better than  
anyone else. "Hmm.. it's quiet.. Far too quiet.. Search the place! Split up!" Dimitri  
said, staring around with an expression as cold as the storm around him as he  
walked into the living room and into the heart of the storm.  
  
  
  
One of the faceless cloaked.. things.. slithered into the kitchen,  
staring around.. He heard a faint grunt and sensed strong magic, and  
turned around to face Gannondorf's glowing purple fist, which ripped  
through the Wraith. The creature of darkness hit the ground in shambles,  
what was left of him turning into black smoke and fading away. Gannon then  
dashed downwards to keep himself alive.   
  
  
Another of the wraiths made the mistake of walking into one of the  
unused guest rooms downstairs. The creature sniffed the air somehow,  
and glared around, before two swords came down on the creature,  
ripping it to shreds that instantly evaporated into black smoke after  
a hideous scream. Link and Roy turned to face the other six wraiths that  
were now slithering into the room, all of which had a long silver staff  
out. "There goes the element of surprise." Roy muttered as his sword  
lit up with flames once more.  
  
  
  
Dimitri glared around the living room as he slowly walked upstairs.  
As soon as he'd made it to the top, Fox kicked him in the jaw and off  
the balcony. The demented host fell down and was about to hit the  
ground when Falco jumped up and double-kicked him into the cieling.  
Dimitri clung to the cieling like a spider and slowly unsheathed a ninja-like  
sword (katana, is it?). Then he instantly teleported behind Falco, kicking  
him to the ground and jabbing his sword down at the bird. Falco immediately  
rolled out of the way. The blade jabbed into the floor and was instantly pulled  
out with the greatest of ease as Dimitri glared at the two fighters surrounding him..  
"Bring it on.."  
  
  
All of the other smashers had seperated by now, in case you didn't know.  
  
  
  
Peach, Zelda, Samus, and Game&Watch slowly backed away from  
the huge demi-spider monstrosity in front of them. The creature's jagged  
spiked legs lashed out at them, one making a small tear at the bottom of Peach's  
dress as she jumped out of the way. Zelda jumped back as she transformed into  
Shiek and instantly countered with a barrage of throwing knives as Samus charged  
up a plasma shot or whatever it's called. The spider cackled as it deflected the  
knives with ease and slowly advanced on the trio. "Any more bright ideas like  
your idea to run into an empty room!?" Peach shouted at Samus. The bounty  
hunter nodded. "Yeah, just one. Run!" Samus got down in stance and opened  
fire as the group of four then began running away from the spider, going into a  
hallway. The blast made contact, causing a huge explosion that filled the whole  
room with smoke and much of the hallway they had already passed.  
  
  
  
"Take this!" Roy shouted, grunting as his sword slammed into  
the ground at two of the Wraiths, emitting a huge explosion that blasted  
both into smoking dust. Link jabbed his sword into the last two of the  
wraiths in the room, having no wounds other than a light scratch, and  
the two dashed out of the room and into the living room area.  
  
  
  
"TAKE THIS!!" Samus said, skidding to a halt as she heard  
the spider coming closer down the dark, abnormally long hallway. She  
opened fire and shot missile after missile after the spider, before catching  
up to the other three. The spider continued after them through the flames like  
a demon, however, and Samus turned around now and then to open  
fire. Then Samus tripped on Yoshi and fell on her face. She turned around in horror  
as the beast struck...  
  
... and swallowed Yoshi whole. But the dino got stuck in it's throat  
and the monster choked to death. "Well what do you know, Yoshi did  
come in handy on this battle." Samus shrugged as she jumped up and met the  
others in the living room.  
  
  
  
"I'm tired of this folley of yours." Dimitri said, who'd been blocking every  
one of the Star Fox team duo's punches and kicks. He grabbed Falco by the leg  
and in the same instance swung him around into Fox, hurling both into Samus and  
the others that just entered from the hallway. Link and Roy dashed in at that  
same instance and clashed swords with Dimitri, before the three had a  
stand-off, glaring at eachother. Dimitri motioned for them to start the first  
strike. Roy and Link charged Dimitri at the same time. The dark host's sword  
extended into a double-edged weapon as he swung it in circles, blocking an insane  
barrage of attacks. "A bit unfair, wouldn't you say?" Dimitri said with a smirk, as  
he wasn't putting near as much effort into his defense as Link and Roy were both  
putting into their offense. He lept over the two, blocking an upwards strike by  
Link, and when Roy lept up to attack, Dimitri placed a hand on his chest and send  
electricity surging through the swordsman's body.   
  
  
Roy fell to the ground, twitching from the shock, as Dimitri smirked  
cruelly at Link, motioning towards himself. "Bring it on, elf-boy." he  
scoffed as he took fighting stance. Link charged Dimitri the instant those  
words left the sinister host's mouth. The dark swordsman laughed and  
brought his sword up towards Link, who used his sword to block  
the blow before having to quickly pull his sword up and down to  
block the double-edged assault. Then Link swung at Dimitri,  
but his aim was a bit off and he only cut Dimitri's arm just   
enough to let a bit of blood out, before slashing upwards and  
cutting Dimitri's double-edger into two normal swords.  
Then he realized that he'd actually done a bad thing as  
Dimitri swung both swords violently at Link's sides and  
in every which way.   
  
  
"Where the heck is Khan!?" Peach said, fanning Roy  
as G&W cooked sausages and Zelda worked on healing  
the poor child.  
  
  
Meanwhile, in the kitchen..  
  
  
  
  
Khan stood in the kitchen, cell-phone in hand. "Yeah,  
hey guys, Yoshi got devoured by a monster - Prank call? No,  
I'm not - You won't believe me either!? I'm telling the truth,  
idiot!!"  
  
  
Back to the battle.   
  
  
  
  
Link blocked swipe after swipe of Dimitri's twin  
swords, the cut in Dimitri's left arm not seeming to affect  
his battle skills as he made a few shallow cuts in Link's  
outfit. Then Link made a good blow to Dimitri's left hand,  
making his sword go flying out of his hand as the dark  
swordsman yelled in pain, blood trickling down to the  
carpets as the blizzard stopped and was replaced by  
a mini-star above them, heating the entire living room and  
most of the surrounding rooms, and melting all the snow  
as Dimitri continued to trade blows with Link - but now  
that it was a fair one-on-one match it was a bit of a   
standstill..  
  
  
  
"Give it up, Dimitri!" Link said, nearly slicing Dimitri's  
right hand. The dark knight smirked, and in an icy, murderous  
voice, said, "Torqueo ad crucio." Link blinked. "What?"  
Dimitri laughed. "Old latin.." he said, staring  
behind Link as his sword slowly rose and began spinning  
behind the green-clad warrior. "It means write in pain!!"  
  
As soon as the word 'pain' left his lips, Dimitri's  
sword shot into Link, who had barely enough time to   
avoid a fatal cut as it made a light gash in his  
shoulder. The sword, now acting as a homing  
helecopter-blade/buzsaw, started attacking Link  
on its own. "This isn't going to end well." Samus  
said, sitting with all of the other smashers (except  
Kirby for some reason) and taking a seat next  
to Fox and Falco. "... 50 bucks says Dimitri wins."  
Falco said, pulling out fifty dollars.  
"Only fifty? Mere child's play." Samus said with a laugh.  
Falco scowled. "Well how much do you suggest?"  
"Five-hundred dollars on Link from me." Samus  
said.  
"Gaah! Five hundred dollars!?" Falco exclaimed. "That's  
a month's paycheck!!"  
"Unless you're too scared.."  
"Heck no! Five hundred it is!"  
  
  
  
"Now who should be giving up!?" Dimitri said with a  
cruel laugh. Link jumped over the buz-saw as it spun at  
his legs, while slashing out to block Dimitri's swipes. He traded  
blows with Dimitri for a second before having to back up onto  
the stairs as the buz-saw tore into the wall next to him. "You'll  
be paying for that with the electricity once this is through."  
Dimitri chuckled as he stabbed at Link a few times before going  
back to impossibly quick slashing. Link did his best to deflect the  
shots, being forced upstairs bit by bit; He yelled in shock as  
the buzz-saw-sword tore through the wall in front of him and  
fell backwards atop the stairs. The spinning sword immediately  
swung in a wide arc and back down in an attempt to decapitate  
Link. The knight rolled to the side as Dimitri began stabbing at   
Link's body, the buzz-saw tearing through the floor. Link  
jumped up to dodge one of Dimitri's blows as the buzzaw came  
up from below where he was, slamming into Dimitri's sword and  
sending it flying into a wall. Link gulped, taking mental note  
not to try and deflect the buz-saw as it lunged at him again.  
  
  
"BLAST YOU!!" Dimitri yelled, jerking his sword from  
the wall. Kirby jumped up from behind Link, swallowing Dimitri's  
buzz-saw sword in one gulp and spitting out his own version  
of it, with a copied version of Dimitri's trenchcoat on. "Argh!" Dimitri  
yelled. "That's it! The fair fighting is over!!" He held his fingers up  
and whistled. The floor seemed to be shaking from mighty footsteps  
as two wolf-like beasts bigger than rottwilers charging down the  
hallway, their howling echoing throughout the entire mansion.  
  
"Haven't you ever heard of a fair fight!?" Link said, highly  
annoyed as Dimitri lunged at them once more with his sword,  
slashing at Link as Kirby kept himself from being eaten  
by one of the dogs. The other wolflike beast charged at Link,  
who turned for a second to slash it away before having to quickly  
turn back around in a split-second to just barely block Dimitri's  
next assault. The dog instantly turned back around, as if the  
wound didn't affect it, it's eyes shining yellow. Dimitri laughed.  
"Don't you know anything?! Those things are zombies!!"  
  
  
"Zombies, huh?" Khan said, appearing in the opposite  
hallway. "Kirby, go back with the others. Link, take care  
of Dimitri. I'll deal with the hounds." Link nodded as he  
blocked more of Dimitri's attacks, as Khan whistled for  
the dogs and kicked both of them in the rump. They growled  
as Khan miowed and began running down the hallway, the  
beasts in close pursuit.   
  
  
Kirby hopped down to where the others were  
watching as Link began another vicious assault to  
Dimitri, Khan off in another room chanting a spell  
to destroy the undead creatures.  
  
"Playtime is over, boy." Dimitri said as the  
heat from the artificial sun above began intensifying.  
He laughed as a sandstorm came from nowhere and  
began tearing through the mansion. "I'm through  
holding back."  
  
  
"Shouldn't we help him!?" Zelda shouted,  
Mewtwo keeping a shield around the whole group  
to deflect the storm.   
"Mewtwo's too busy keeping this shield up  
to track them, and the sandstorm is far too strong  
to make it through if we tried to help him!" Peach  
said, looking around.  
"Beep eep blaleep!" G&W added in.  
  
  
Dimitri immediately continued the brutal assault,  
his sword knocking down pictures of Ice Dragoness,  
SimDork the Author, and Blissey from the wall.  
  
  
Link fought back as best as he could, as the  
storm was only blowing in the lower part of the mansion  
(although no one else could figure it out that were  
down there), and was basically a guarentee that no  
one would, or for that matter could, jump in to help.  
But Dimitri was fighting with a viciousness not  
seen untill now. Persperation covered Link's body,  
from both the extreme heat above and from strenuous  
excersize from having to protect himself from Dimitri's  
assault. (Wow, world record for most 'from's used in  
a single moment of action... or not.)  
  
  
"Sweating already?" Dimitri said with a  
cruel laugh. "But I'm just warming up!!"  
  
A shadow form of himself lept out at Link  
with a sword as real as Dimitri's own. Link yelled  
and jumped out of the way, slashing the shadow-clone,  
destroying it as it faded away. Then link looked around  
in horror; He'd lost track of Dimitri...  
And before he could react, he felt the hilt of Dimitri's  
sword bash up against him, before Dimitri's boot  
kicked him down the hall back onto the balcony of  
the living room. Dimitri laughed as he brought his  
sword's hilt down on Link's neck, knocking him out. Dimitri  
lifted his sword, ready to bring it down on Link's neck.  
"Now, my friend..." he said, ".. Tempus fortuna morior..."  
  
  
  
Suddenly, a huge blast shot through the  
sandstorm and hit Dimitri. He growled angrily and  
looked down as Samus lept up to the balcony, Fox  
and Falco clung to her. They let go and landed on the  
balcony next to Samus. Dimitri took stance once more,  
his left arm paralyzed, blue bolts of electricity showing  
the damage Samus' blast had done. "Grr.." he said,  
glaring at all three. Then he saw Khan behind him,  
with a bag containing the ashes of both dead dogs,  
and a smirk across the pirate's face.   
"Game over, Dimitri." Khan said. Suddenly,  
in a flash of light, the sandstorm subsided.  
"It'll NEVER be game over!!" Dimitri said.  
He roared, a black glow emitting from his body  
as the entire foundation of the mansion shook with  
his awesome power. Then, in another flash of light,  
a fox-like creature in white robes floated down, along  
with an elderly man in white wizard's robes, a blonde  
woman in brown robes, a green-skinned creature in  
a floating contraption of some sort, a dark-green-skinned  
creature that was one of the talest, a three-legged,  
blue-skinned creature, and last, a man in armor and  
helecopter-like blades attacked to his arms.  
  
"No.. it-it can't be.." Dimitri said as everyone  
stared at the seven. "How dare you track me here!!"  
  
"Dimitri," said the eldest, "we've finally found  
you. You have been charged with wreaking  
havoc and disturbing balance in over 5,295 galaxies,  
not including this one, and for over 6,028,277,593,011  
cases of deliberate murder, and for the illegal use  
of forbidden magic!"  
  
"Feh, put a sock in it old timer!" Dimitri said.  
"What makes you think you can catch me this time!?  
I've escaped you pathetic imbeciles every time  
before now!"  
  
  
Samus dragged the spider-monster's corpse out  
to the council. She was about to ask them if they  
could help when Fox stopped her. "I don't think  
these people are joking, Samus." he said. "We'd  
best leave them alone." He used his laser-gun to  
cut Yoshi out of the monster's neck, before dragging  
him out of the mansion. Dimitri vanished out of  
thin air, leaving behind only the echoing words  
of "You'll NEVER catch Dimitri Aosis!!"  
as the seven High Council members disappeared in a  
flash of light, chasing down Dimitri.  
  
  
"Well, looks like we did it, fellows." Khan said.  
Everyone cheered wildly; worst enemies shook   
eachother's hands; Yoshi woke up outside and  
whined because he lost; G&W cheered in the  
usual style of "BEEP BEEP BEHEEP BEEP!!";  
Samus and Fox hugged eachother then backed  
away from eachother with a nervous cough from  
both; and everyone else just plain cheered.  
  
  
  
  
"And about the mess.." Khan added. Everyone  
quieted down. "... it will be taken care of overnight.   
Just get a good night's sleep. Oh, and some of the  
bedrooms are, well.. destroyed, so Samus, Game&Watch,  
you two will have to share rooms with some of the  
other smashers."   
"I voulenteer to house Samus!" Fox said,  
making sure he DIDN'T have to bunk with G&W.  
Do you realize how obnoxious hearing Beeps  
all night is!? G&W snores in his sleep and beeps  
instead of snoring, so.. do the math.  
  
  
  
"Ok, so I'll leave it to you to decide who  
gets the snorer." Khan said, leaving the mansion.  
Everyone (Samus and Fox excluded) glared  
at one another..  
  
Yep, we can all see another brawl about to take  
place.  
  
  
~*~/End Match 10/~*~  
~*~/The Loser: Yoshi/~*~  
  
  
Author's Note:  
  
  
I'M FINALLY BACK!! Woohoo!! Unfortunately  
Dimitri is still free.. The council couldn't catch him  
in time. But still!!  
Hope you liked the intense (I hope) fighting scene.  
Will that shoot my rating up to PG-13, dare I ask?  
Please warn me so I can keep the proper rating.  
Anyway, even though you probably already know, here's  
the Out List once more;  
  
  
CAPTAIN FALCON  
PRINCE MARTH  
NESS  
PICHU  
JIGGLYPUFF  
PIKACHU  
DONKEY KONG  
YOUNG LINK  
DR. MARIO  
YOSHI  
  
  
Wow. A lot, huh?  
  
  
And, uh, so sorry for not having many mentions of  
reviewers in this one..   
  
  
Anyway, now that things have calmed down, could a spark  
of romance be filling the air as Spring draws near? Or  
will it lead to a horribly soap-opera-parodic tale?  
Find out if Ridge Forrester or someone of the sort will  
make a special appearance and more, next time on..  
  
  
  
SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE  
Live in it and Win a Mansion!!  
  
  
And Remember;  
My little contest is ALWAYS going on!  
So if you think you know the answer, PLEASE  
post in your review so I'll know who to put in  
the fic, because my E-Mail has a "junk filter"  
that often deletes emails that aren't junkmail..  
So anyone that makes an effort to  
answer (I can tell if you're just acting because  
I'm just that scary o_O) will have a mention  
on almost every episode I make after recieving  
the answer - Just don't expect me to always remember,  
please.. *sniff* It's hard. Eheh.  
So anyway, be seein' ya next time. 


	11. Match 11: Spring Arrives and Writer's Bl...

DISCLAIMER:  
If you don't realize that I don't own Super Smash Bros Melee  
or anything associated with it by now, then start  
reading the disclaimer from now own. That's what it's here for.  
-  
-  
-  
Author's Note:  
Ok, obviously the violence didn't go well with one or two  
readers. And I know I've had a lot more battling than  
usual. But I can't write something about a fighting game  
without a little action and not feel awkward... But now that  
I think back, I did put a bit too much gore, and I apologize  
to the few readers who are affected by it.  
Atleast Dimitri's gone now, so the violence should  
be over. And, shockingly enough, Link has a vote! Dude!  
When will "Gannondork", as he is so affectionately nicknamed,  
be booted off? And for that matter, how long will a Pokemon  
stay in a show controlled by people that, more likely than not,  
dislike Pokemon in some way or other?  
The complete opposite of violence will be taking place  
as Spring draws near. It has been a week or so since  
Dimitri's brutal reign, and everything's, well, boring right  
now.  
  
Find out what painfully parodic, extraordinarily evil,  
and/or insanely idiotic pranks and plots take place  
today, on..  
-  
SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE  
=Live in it and Win a Mansion=  
-  
-  
-  
-  
~*~/Match 11/~*~  
---Spring Arrives---  
-  
-  
-  
-  
DAY 30  
6 AM  
  
((Piano Music plays from the living room))  
  
"The snow outside has melted, the cold has gone away;  
The Mansion in Nowheresville is now a great place to stay!  
Although there is no guarentee when one of us will go,  
We'll all be good sports till the end because--"  
  
"KEEP IT DOWN!! SOME OF US ENJOY A THING  
CALLED SLEEP!!" Samus said, stomping the floor of her  
room above the living room, which had finally been  
rebuild and cleaned of all traces of dead.. things. Surprisingly  
enough, yet not really, Kirby was playing piano and singing  
a song downstairs. Oy.  
-  
-  
The pink blob didn't seem to hear her as he continued  
banging on the piano, waking everyone up bit by bit - And  
trust me. Waking up a house full of strong fighters that  
will likely be highly ticked off at you since it's early in  
the morning... is NOT a smart thing.  
  
-  
-  
-  
  
NEW TIME BECAUSE I FELT LIKE   
SKIPPING AN HOUR:  
7 AM  
  
-  
-   
Khan barged through the door. "Gooood mornin'!" he said to  
the sleepy crew of Smashers who all glared - except for  
kirby, who was still playing piano and singing obnoxiously  
off-key.  
"It'll be a GOOD mornin' when someone MURDERS that pink  
annoyance!!" Gannon bellowed.  
"Eheh, uh, yeah." Khan said, closing the door behind him  
as he walked in. "Kirby, shut up or I'll modify the votes and kick  
you off because I have a lot of underlings that could help arrange  
fake reviews.."  
The pink blob gulped as Fox shoved him aside and began  
playing peaceful, classical music that actually sounded good -  
especially taking into consideration the fact that there was  
no singing.  
-  
-   
"Alright, onto today's announcements." Khan said, pulling  
out his clipboard with the contest info on it. Things were  
finally back the way they should be. Back to a PG rating. Curse  
you for shooting the rating up, Dimitri!!!  
"With spring around the corner, we've got to keep a close  
lookout for that blasted little freakish imp.."  
"Who?" Peach asked, along with several others, confused.  
"CUPID!! The stupid little cherub brat that shoots people's  
butts with heart-tipped arrows to make them fall in love!!" Khan  
yelled, growling with frustration. "That little twerp has altered  
and often ruined COUNTLESS contests because of his  
treacherous interferance!! But ohhhh no! NOT THIS TIME!!  
We're going to CATCH THAT CREEP IN THE ACT, TAKE  
THOSE BLASTED ARROWS, SHOVE THEM DOWN HIS  
THROAT THEN--"  
"Khan, Khan!! You're sounding eerily like Dimitri  
right about now!!" Roy pointed out. Khan gasped for air  
as he calmed down.  
"Yeah, yeah you're right, sorry about that, I'm cool, I'm  
calm.. yeah.. better. So, on with more pressing issues. The  
Council has decided not to end this contest."  
Some cheered and some booed at this announcement.  
"Plus, now that I'm back in office, we can finally have  
another special guest!"  
Everyone groaned. Oh yeah. Things were back to normal  
alright.  
-  
-  
-  
Khan walked off with a cackle.  
-  
-  
-  
TIME: NOON  
-  
-  
-  
-  
After everyone ate breakfast, the door jingled as  
someone unlocked it. Everyone stared towards the  
door in suspense. Could it be Bill Clinton? Or  
perhaps the Teletubbies? Or worse! Could it be  
abnormally vile and should-be-killed Pewee  
Herman!?  
  
It was, well, almost as bad.  
-  
-  
-  
A swarm of people ran in and sat down  
in an audience stand that instantly appeared in  
the living room as camera men and bodyguards  
dashed in. THe audience, with Simdork, Blissey,  
Smash Sage and Ice Dragoness mixed in among   
them, chanted, "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"   
-  
-  
"Hello everyone and welcome to the  
show tonight!" Jerry said as he walked in, the  
crowd going wild with cheers.  
The words "Smasher's Secrets" appeared  
on the screen for a second before fading away.  
"Today we'll be taking a look at the things  
the Smash team didn't want you to find out. First,  
Mario; true hero, or a creep that's cheating on his  
girlfriend? Let's bring him out!"  
-  
-   
The audience chanted 'creep' over and over  
again as Mario took a seat, before they suddenly  
hushed as if Jerry had mighty power over them all.  
"Alright Mario, you came here to tell us something?"  
"Uhh.. I-a did?" Mario asked, confused.  
"Yes, yes you did." Jerry said.  
"... No I-a didn't."  
"Yes you did."  
"No, I-a didn't."  
"Yes 'you-a' did!"  
"No, I-a--"  
"YOU CAME HERE TO TELL US SOMETHING AND  
YOU'RE NOT LEAVING UNTILL YOU TELL US!! ARE  
WE CLEAR!?" Jerry roared. Mario slowly nodded, panick-  
stricken at the wrath of Jerry.  
  
"Alright then. Since you won't speak, I'll speak  
for you. Is it true, Mario, that you're having an  
affair with a... Mushroom?!"  
The audience gasped.  
"What!? That's-a ridiculous-a!"  
"Oh, is it? Let's bring out another guest  
and see what they have to say.."  
-  
-  
A mushroom fell from the cieling onto the chair  
next to Mario. Everyone in the audience began chanting  
a word I'd rather not repeat on this 'fic to the mushroom.  
"Now Miss Mushroom, what have you got to say?" Jerry  
said. The mushroom just sat there. The audience began booing  
and chanting once more. "Your silence tells me everything."  
The saddest part was.. Jerry was actually serious about this.  
-  
-  
-  
((IN THE STANDS))  
-  
-  
Link, Roy, Gannon, and Mewtwo huddled together in  
the middle of the audience. "Did you read the reviews?"  
Mewtwo asked the others. "Chicago-Kuni wants someone  
voted off.."  
"Yeah, what's the big deal?" Gannon asked, bewildered.  
"Don't you read the review list?" sighed Link. "Kuni wants  
that Smash Sage guy off."  
"Oh, you mean the fox hater?"   
"Yeah." Link replied, bashing Kirby away, who had been  
evesdropping. "And you know what Khan always says.."  
A wicked smile crossed Gannon's lips. "You mean, 'Give  
the people what they want'?"  
"Exactly. So here's what we do..."   
-  
-  
While the group set forth their dastardly plot,   
Jerry continued with his show as Peach ran down and began  
beating the snot out of the mushroom and Mario.  
"Well, let's drag out our next guest." Jerry said as the  
bodyguards pulled the fighters apart. Bowser stomped  
in, dragging the bodyguards instead of the other way  
around as he chortled, hurling the guards out of a window  
and sitting in a chair, crushing it to the ground. "When am I  
getting paid?"  
-  
-(a/n: I DISCOVERED SOMETHING LATELY!  
By adding little ----'s, it lets me put as much spacing  
as I want!)  
-  
-  
------"Now Bowser, we brought you here so you  
could confess your love to someone in the  
audience."  
-  
------"Crap, I smell Cupid's filthy presence.." Khan  
said, scowling, getting odd looks from Ice Dragoness  
and Simdork who were in front of him in the stands.  
".. What?"  
-  
-------"Confess my love?" Bowser said with  
a snort. Jerry gave him a menacing look. Bowser  
gulped. Jerry seemed to have hypnotic power over  
people....  
--------"... ARGH!!" Bowser said with a   
roar as he dashed at a shocked Mario, turning  
backwards and smashing Mario to the ground with  
his shell. Bowser rolled off with a fiery cackle.  
-  
------"It's happening.." Khan said, dashing off  
and staring madly to and fro. "Where is the litte  
devil!?"  
-  
-  
------Then Bowser ran into the stands and  
kidnapped Peach, laughing as he dashed  
off into the higher parts of the mansion with  
Link, Mario, Luigi, Roy and Nana&Popo soon  
to follow.  
-  
------"Well.. that was... interesting. We'll  
be back after this break."  
-  
-  
-  
-  
--------Meanwhile, a huge fight broke loose  
in Bowser's hardened bedroom full of spikey  
interior decorating. "Bring it on!!" Bowser  
roared, thinking back to the old days of skills  
he once knew. He cackled as Nana and Popo  
tried to hit him over the head with hammers. The  
King merely sidestepped and snaped his fingers,  
causing a gigantic Big Boo to appear over the duo's  
heads. They screamed in terror and fled out the window  
as Big Boo vanished. Next up was Luigi and Mario. Link  
was tired of it and decided to go downstairs, and after a while  
Roy did too.  
-  
-  
-------Finally, Bowser snapped his fingers once again  
as a huge rock spire shot up from beneath Luigi, shattering and sending  
him flying into a wall. "Super Mario RPG, what a great  
game.." Bowser said with a chuckle as a poison gas cloud  
engulfed Mario, weakening him and knocking him to the ground.  
-  
-  
------Meanwhile...  
-  
-  
-------Roy hadn't shown up for the prank for some  
reason. But Mewtwo, Gannon and Link decided to  
carry on without him. "Alright, operation 'Pain' is  
underway." Gannon said. Everyone gave him an  
odd look. ".. What?"  
-------"That is so lame. And you call yourself a  
villian?" Link said with a smirk.  
-------"Grrr... SAY THAT TO MY FACE YOU LITTLE--"  
-------"Silence, you two, I need to concentrate.." Mewtwo  
said, closing his eyes, a faint glow piercing his eyelids  
as SmashSage was teleported from the reviewer's stands  
to the middle of the smashers. "This one's for Chicago-Kuni.."  
Gannon said, cracking his knuckles as the trio began  
brutally mauling SmashSage.  
-  
-  
-------After the fight, Link walked off to a closet to get  
his sword cleaner as a beaten Smash Sage crawled  
back to the stands, covered in bandages and bruises.  
He opened the door and saw, to his horror..  
Roy and Zelda.  
Kissing.  
-  
-  
-------"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Link shouted madly.  
Khan dashed up and saw the situation, then looked  
up and saw a little winged cherub above them. "CUPID!"  
Khan shouted as he pulled out his sword and  
chased Cupid across the mansion, trying his hardest  
to stab the little cretin.  
-  
-  
-(Five Mintues Later)  
-  
-----"And we're back." Jerry said. Just when he was  
about to interview the audience, Bowser came smashing  
in, with Mario and Luigi still trying to beat the snot out of  
him. Then Link and Roy ran by, slashing eachother  
furiously. Jerry sat down on a stool nearby.  
-----"I end the show with one thing to say. That, no  
matter how strong the fighter, love is a much stronger  
force. And humans will always resort to violence."  
He looked over and saw everyone chatting peacefully.  
"I SAID HUMANS WILL ALWAYS RESORT TO VIOLENCE!  
NOW START FIGHTING OR GRANNY GETS IT!!" he yelled,  
pulling out a gun and aiming it at Ice Dragonness. Who was  
quite mad at being called "granny"...   
------So, while Roy kicked Link out, and while the other  
smashers waged war, Ice Dragoness dashed down to Jerry  
and began kicking his butt..  
-  
-  
-----End Round Eleven-------  
-The Losers: Link and Nana&Popo-  
-  
-  
-(A/N: Sorry about not having your comments, Ice Dragoness,  
but, well, the email got deleted.. Hope the beating jerry up thing  
makes up for it. Newest Contest: Post the name of the one  
Special attack Bowser did NOT use in the fight today from  
the old Mario RPG game.. Anyone who gets it right will make  
an appearance as always, and my writer's block is fading!!  
See what romances take place next time on...)  
SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE  
Live in it and Win a Mansion! 


End file.
